


wanna know you

by weddingbells



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Closeted Character, Football | Soccer, Homophobia, M/M, side zarry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 01:21:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3550802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weddingbells/pseuds/weddingbells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Louis plays for England and falls a lot, and maybe accidentally falls for someone who he shouldn't fall for, especially since said someone is very much a dick. Named Niall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	wanna know you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hyp3r10n](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyp3r10n/gifts).



> This was a gift for my friend Rebecca who wanted me to write something fluffy nouis and it ended up being not so fluffy and not at all that much football for a football fic. Also I have never written Nouis like this before, and the side Zarry is because well I love Zarry I'm sorry. WELL hopefully someone enjoys this.

It’s the biggest thing in Louis’ life, it’s absolutely like nothing else he has ever experienced before. He looks at the letter in his hand, the neat print and logo there and his hand is trembling, his whole body is trembling as his eyes read the words again and again and again – scared to have misread something, worried that maybe he even forgot _how_ to read because there is no way, there is just no way… He swallows, reading it again, probably the tenth time and no, no it’s true, it says in writing, actual writing that he’s got a spot on the men’s under 21 national team for the world cup. Playing football. For England.

“Mum!” He calls out, tears streaming down his face as he rushes into the other room where his mother is taking care of the youngest kids, looking up with a worried expression as she sees her oldest son running in, crying over something.

“What’s the matter?” She frowns and as she stands up, Louis practically jumps her, hugging her tightly as he is still holding onto the letter.

“I got it, I got the spot, I’m playing for England mum, for England!”

“You’re…” She stares at him, as if she is having just as much trouble believing this as he had, but then her eyes turns wet as well and she hugs him tightly. “Oh my god Louis!”

“Oh my god!” Louis echoes and he laughs through his tears, a swirl of emotions he can’t even begin to understand.

 

**

 

Louis has dreamed about this all his life, and as he packs to leave for Ireland he still can’t believe he is actually going. Now in his dreams he had travelled the world for the tournament, but going to Ireland was just as exciting now; he had been to Ireland before but he had never been to a football tournament in Ireland where he was playing, so that was special. He smiled, making sure his suitcase is packed with all the things he needs before Zayn sighs.

“God, Louis, you have spent days packing. You’re done. You can relax.”

“Well excuse me Mr. I-can-pack-in-ten-minutes.” Louis sticks his tongue out and Zayn returns the favour. “I just don’t want to get to Dublin and realise I left half my stuff at home.”

Zayn, eyeing his suitcase, raises an eyebrow.

“I doubt you’ll have to worry about that mate, I am pretty sure everything you own is in that one.”

Louis slaps his arm playfully.

“It’s not.”

A honk of a car tells him it’s really time to get going and he clears his throat, turning to Zayn.

“You’re coming to the first games right? You promised, so no backing out now, I got you tickets and everything!”

Zayn laughs and nods.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there, not gonna let my friend fall on his ass without me watching it live ever again.”

“Shut up.” Louis says darkly, because even though they have spent lot of time laughing at how he fell flat on his butt after trying to make a pass to Matt in the last game for the season, causing quite the laugh in town, he didn’t want to think about that now, when he was going away to play in front of thousands of people. “Anyway, you heard Harry Styles got a spot on the team as well? Goalie.” He grins, loving how Zayn’s face goes deep red. “Since I know you still fancy him from…”

“Shut up!” It’s Zayn’s turn to say this time, and then the honk of the car interrupts them again and Louis hugs Zayn, nervous and excited and feeling as if he might throw up or cry or laugh.

“Promise you’ll be there.” He says again and Zayn nods, kissing Louis’ cheek.

“Promise. Now go.”

 

**

 

Louis seems to be one of the last to arrive because when he steps out of the taxi taking him to the hotel where their team is staying, there are a bunch of men his own age staying outside waiting for him, obviously to greet him. Louis feels a bit nervous, making his way over to them and he hope he won’t mess up anything. They are all dressed as if they are coming straight from the work out room or the football field, and it makes Louis almost feel a bit out of place in jeans and blue shirt.

“I’m Harry, nice to meet you.” The tallest of the bunch meeting Louis at the hotel is the one who steps forward first, hair tied back in a bun and Louis recognises him from seeing articles online and some videos, keeping track of his career mostly because Zayn does. Louis shakes his hand with a little smile.

“I’m Louis, nice to meet you too.” He says, hoping he doesn’t sound awkward. Harry smiles though, introducing him to the rest of the team, some of them Louis already knows and the rest is a bit of a blur from too many impressions at once, but he hopes that he soon will learn all names and not end up calling them something else.

“We just had a first workout, just for fun, the real team one is tomorrow.” Harry says, as if he feel the need to explain why they are all dressed like that. Louis nods.

“Yeah I kinda figured something like that.”

“Do you need any help getting to your room? We have our own here, but when we go to the other cities we might have to share with others.” Harry explains and Louis smiles, shaking his head.

“I think I’ll be fine, thank you.”

“I’m really looking forward to playing with you.” Harry says excitedly and shakes Louis’ hand again. “Just try not to fall so much, okay?” He adds but he is joking, Louis can tell he is so Louis doesn’t get angry, he just laughs shaking his head, a bit surprised so many people know about this.

“Promise.” He says and then Harry waves, running off with some of the other guys and Louis thinks it’s better if he tries to find his room and get settled in before doing anything else. Maybe like google himself to see what else kind of awkward situations he has gotten himself in that other might know about.

 

 

He meets up with the rest of the team for dinner, talking and having a great time as they all try to get to know each other. Harry is by far the friendliest and when they separate for the night, Louis got Harry’s phone number and he hopes he really has a new friend in him. He wonders if Zayn will be jealous knowing Harry Styles gave him his number, and with a little grin he decides to text Zayn about it before he goes to bed, falling asleep fairly easy even though it’s the first night in a new place.

 

**

 

Harry is one of those people who makes it seem as if you have known them for half your life when really you’ve only known them for like half a day. Louis notices the next day already, when he’s been snoozing for thirty minutes because no matter how excited he is about something he just can’t seem to get out of bed, and his hotel bed is comfortable and nice. He is abruptly brought out of his state of snooze though, when he hears a knock on the door.

“Knock, knock.” He hears Harry’s voice and he replies without even thinking about it.

“Who is there?” He asks and Harry giggles on the other side of door.

“Dozen.”

Louis rolls his eyes, sits up in bed before replying.

“Dozen who?”

“Dozen anybody wanna let me in?” Harry giggles again before erupting in laughter and Louis wonders why this is happening to him at 7.30 in the morning, but he grunts, gets out of bed and opens the door for Harry.

“That was not funny.” He deadpans as soon as he sees Harry. Harry sticks his tongue out.

“It was totally funny, come on. Wanna hear another one?”

“How are you this awake this early in the morning?” Louis asks instead because he doesn’t want to hear anymore knock knock-jokes and he is genuinely curious about how Harry can come in here like a ball filled with energy, fully dressed and he is still only in pajama bottoms and with messy hair, probably dark circles under his eyes too. Harry grins.

“Early riser, don’t mind me, wanna get some breakfast? Figured I’d get some in me because we have the first practice at 10 and…”

Louis grunts.

“Too many words, too little tea.”

“I can fix tea!” Harry says with a grin. “Down at breakfast, come on, get dressed and we’ll get downstairs, maybe meet some other guys from the team or other people, heard the French were flying in last night as well.”

There are still so many words coming out of that mouth and Louis thinks it’s probably best to just follow Harry. He grunts again, and then he walks over to his suitcase, finding some shorts and a hoodie, changing from his pajama bottoms to put on the other clothes all while Harry seems to sit on the bed and try to come up with more knock knock jokes. Louis hopes not.

“Ready to go?” Harry asks as Louis has checked his hair out in the mirror so it isn’t a complete mess, and Louis nods.

“They better have Yorkshire.”

 

They don’t have Yorkshire, sadly, but Louis isn’t whining about it because he just wants tea, sugar, energy, so he settles on Earl Grey and then fills his plate with eggs and sausages and bacon, Harry not far behind as they pick a table close to the window. It’s fairly empty in the restaurant, mostly families with children and this proves to Louis that is it’s very unusual for people to be up as early as Harry he is. He doesn’t complain about that either though, because right now his stomach is grumbling at the smell of food and it seems to be a pretty good thing to have breakfast after all.

“You’re family coming to see any games?” Harry asks after chewing on a sausage for a good five minutes and Louis hesitates.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Mum’s pretty busy because I have a lot of younger siblings and well, they can’t all go to Ireland. If they find a babysitter maybe. My friend Zayn is coming though. What about you?”

Harry nods eagerly.

“Mum and Gemma are coming, that’s my big sis, they are more excited about this than I am, okay maybe that is a lie but it’s still a very exciting thing for them.”

Again, Louis is surprised with how quickly Harry can say so many words, and yet his voice still seems slow.

“That sounds nice.” Louis nods in agreement, and Harry nods again.

“Gotta have you meet them, they are so nice, and I can meet your buddy too, bet he is nice!”

Louis wonders if anything isn’t nice in the world of Harry Styles, but he doesn’t question that, instead he just smiles while drinking his orange juice.

“Don’t look, some people from Ireland’s team just walked in.” Harry warns suddenly and of course, Louis can’t help but turn around and look. Six guys enters the restaurant, apparently Irish because their jackets with the flags on them gives them away. One of them is tall, skinny and with bleached blonde hair. Louis decides to call him bleached one, not bother to find out who he can be, especially after he looks up and sees Harry and Louis and starts laughing.

“Look what they let in ‘ere mates, English scum!”

The other guys laugh and Louis rolls his eyes, he knows how competition can get between people but he honestly didn’t expect people to be that immature. At least not this early in the morning. He doesn’t know if the guys are serious or if they are making a joke, thinking it’s very funny but he isn’t sure he cares enough to want to find out. They didn’t win any charm points in his book after all, and he wonders how they even know who they are. Harry is a bit known though, easy to recognise with his long curls but still. Harry’s lips are thin line now, he doesn’t look pleased at all and Louis is pretty sure he has just found one thing in Harry’s life that he doesn’t think is that nice.

“Just ignore them.” Louis says, and hopes he can follow his own advice because if the guy does something else, he is not sure what he will do. Harry nods though, and the art of ignore seems like something he is great at handling. They finish their breakfast and Louis is happy to see that the other guys seem to take another table far away from them, the bleached one laughing at pretty much everything and it’s loud and a bit obnoxious if Louis has to be honest.

“Are we playing Ireland?” Louis asks, he probably should know but it’s early and he’s only had one cup of tea so far so his brain isn’t really working yet, in his defence. Harry nods.

“Yep, second to last game before the quarter finals.” Harry replies and Louis lets of a bit of a disappointed growl.

“Wow, can’t wait.”

“We’ll beat them, don’t worry.” Harry winks, and then he finishes his coffee, the last thing still remaining from their breakfast, and he stands up almost at the same time that Louis does. “Now come on, it’s almost 9 and I wanted to change before practice.”

 

**

 

Louis knows it’s nervous to play with a new team, new people. No matter how great you are, it’s difficult to find your rhythm with other guys you’re not used to, which is why the first 30 minutes feels like hell. Louis keeps missing passes and trips over his feet trying to get to the ball, and he is really frustrated until finally some encouraging words from Harry seems to get through to him and he manage to even score when they divide themselves up into two teams.

“See, that wasn’t so bad!” Harry says happily when they are in the showers, Louis turning to him and raising an eyebrow.

“I sucked.”

“I’ve seen worse.” Harry says almost proudly, shampooing his long hair. It must take forever, Louis doesn’t know how he’s got the energy to keep up with that much hair. Louis cut his hair short after trying to keep it long for a bit, because he honestly couldn’t be bothered with it being in the way. He soaps up his body and then rinses himself off, grabbing his towel before he steps out into the changing room.

“It was good Louis, don’t worry.” Danny says and Louis gives him a smile and a thumbs up.

He isn’t that worried, not really. First game is against Norway and he is pretty sure they can beat them. And it’s two days to go, and tomorrow Zayn will be here, and he is pretty excited to show him everything and introduce him to the team.

“You coming with me back to the hotel?” He asks Harry as the other guys take off and Harry nods.

“Yep sure, just let me get dressed will you?” He grins and Louis sighs dramatically as if Harry is taking way too long in the shower but he really doesn’t mind just sitting and waiting for a bit. He texts his mum to ask how the kids are, and then texts Zayn to make sure the other didn’t forget that he is supposed to fly out to see him tomorrow but he doesn’t get a reply so Louis decides that Zayn probably forgot where he put his phone again, and doesn’t think more about it.

 

**

 

Ireland starts the tournament by winning against South Korea with 2-1, Louis watching the game on the TV just before he go to pick up Zayn, and he tries to see if he can see any of the lads from breakfast, but it’s really difficult to recognize them now when they are in actual team colors and look sweaty and rushed, so he gives up on it and decides to focus on how they play. They aren’t bad, far from it but not very good either. Either team seems like something special that will be difficult for England, and it makes Louis feel a bit relieved. Zayn texts him back just before his plane takes off so apparently he is on his way anyway.

Louis smiles, sending Harry a text that he is going to be gone for a few hours to go to the airport to pick up Zayn but that they can meet afterwards.

 ** _“Don’t forget team session before dinner”_** Harry texts and Louis sighs at the way Harry thinks he would forget about that.

He doesn’t reply, just grabs his things and takes a car to the airport. He better not keep Zayn waiting.

 

 

“Louis, you didn’t tell me your friend is so pretty!” Harry says excitedly as Zayn is entering the hotel lobby together with Louis, and Harry meets them as long lost friends and as if he has been away far too long from Louis, even though Louis’ only been away for an hour to pick up Zayn at the airport.

Zayn’s face goes deep red and Louis’ gets a smug grin on his face that he hopes no one notices as he nudges Zayn with his elbow.

“Sorry, forgot.” He grins and then clears his throat. “Harry, this is Zayn. Zayn this is Harry Styles, but you know that, don’t you?”

Zayn isn’t looking at Louis, but Louis can tell how he wants to kill him right now. It makes Louis enjoy this even more.

“I am so disappointed you can look like that after getting off an airplane, I always look like shit.” Harry talks, doesn’t stop and if he noticed the looks between Louis and Zayn, he isn’t reacting to them at all, just shakes Zayn’s hand before pulling him into a hug and Louis can almost see how Zayn stops breathing. “You coming to see us play ball? It’s been great so far, first game tomorrow huh!”

Zayn nods, he usually isn’t a very talkative person and now it seems as if he can’t speak at all, but Louis is pretty sure he is thinking a lot of things.

“Yeah, Zayn is gonna be there, he’ll be at the team session too.” Louis says, because he has already decided this, and it’s not as if Zayn has other plans even if he would have asked him. Zayn nods instead.

“Uhm, yeah. Of course.”

“Louis is great, you know that right?” Harry praises Louis as he looks at Zayn and it makes Louis blush a little as well because he isn’t that great.

“I’m not…”

“Nope, you are not talking down on yourself, mister.” Harry stops him, and then grabs Zayn’s arm which is probably enough for Zayn to die, but he keeps on his feet. “Come on let’s get to your room, and then we’ll play some ball.”

 

Louis had hoped the second practice would be all good because he is used to the players and the pitch now, but it isn’t.

“Tomlinson, keep on your feet!” Josh shouts at him and Louis feels horrible as he falls for the third time, missing an opportunity to score. He isn’t even sure why it happens, he just can’t stay on his feet.

“Tomlinson, go take a break.” The coach says with a tired eye after the tenth miss, and Louis sighs, walking to the bench and tries to not kick his water bottle. This is his time to shine, and he is making an idiot of himself.

 

 

Sometimes, even though Louis is very friendly, he needs time alone. And after that shit excuse of a game of football he had, he just needs a walk to clear his head so after dinner, he tells Zayn he will be back after a few hours and then just grabs his jacket and heads out.

He doesn’t know why it just feels great walking down unknown streets, but it does and the chill night air has him feeling better about himself, even though he really hopes no one saw him except his own team mates when he messed up so badly. He wouldn’t be surprised if the coach won’t let him start the game tomorrow, he’ll spend the whole cup on the bench. He sighs, and then finds himself back at the hotel but not really ready to face Zayn yet, or Harry. He takes a walk into the hotel bar instead, and as soon as he does he regrets that too.

The bar is filled with the same guys from breakfast, they are loud and looks to be on their fourth beer of the night or more, and Louis kind of really regrets this, since they seem to know who he is. He doesn’t want to turn around though, wondering if he can just act cool and go order something, a juice or another drink, and that they won’t notice him. He does just that, ordering a large orange juice with extra ice when the bleached one he remembers from breakfast looks up, noticing him.

“Gunna drink that mate, is this a kids show? Get some beer will ya, or is this what English sissies drink?”

His voice is loud and he is looking at Louis with piercing eyes and his team mates grins viciously as he speaks to Louis. Louis sighs, turning to face them, not at all in the mood to take any crap. He already had a shit day.

“Not gonna drink any beer the day before a game, not really good for your game.” He says, hoping his voice isn’t shaking.

“Ye hear that laddies?” The bleached one calls out, all his friends roaring with laughter and Louis rolls his eyes so hard because there is no way he is staying in this place, no way. “Beer’s bad for ya game, maybe ye should ‘ave some then, bet ya wanna find excuses for shit playin’ don’t ya?”

“Fuck you.” Louis snorts, not about to waste any time at all on football brats who thinks it’s fun to taunt and try to get on his nerves because honestly, he’s got better things to do with his life than that. “Take your fake accent and go someplace else.”

The laughter erupts again, and the bleached one jumps off the bar, walking over to Louis with tall legs just a bit too unsteady, proving that he’s probably had enough to drink to get a hangover tomorrow. Louis would never risk that before a game, never.

“I was here first.” He says, showing off white teeth that looks a bit too perfect, as if he had them fixed. Louis rolls his eyes again.

“Well, I’m going to leave then because I enjoy good company, not trash.” Louis spits out and the bleached one laughs, shaking his head.

“Shower of cunts, all of you.” He says, now when he is close his accent isn’t as bad as it had been before, which only proves to Louis that he was trying to make a show of it. Louis shoves past him, not wanting to say anything else.

“See you on the field tomorrow Louis Tomlinson, try to keep on yer feet will ya?” The guy calls after him, and Louis is already out of the door before he hears the laughter from the rest of the team.

 

**

 

“Why, why did you get into a fight with Niall Horan of all people?” Zayn shakes his head and Louis feels offended.

“Hey, I didn’t get into anything with that guy, okay? I walked into the bar and he started coming at me with nasty things from him and his team of jackasses, wasn’t me. Didn’t even know who he was.”

“So an Englishman and Irishman meets in a bar…” Harry says as if he is just coming up with a way to turn this into a joke, and Louis shuts him up with a look.

“Who invited you here anyway?” He asks, and Zayn blushes.

“I did, I mean, I thought you were gonna be gone all night and well…”

Harry grins and Louis rolls his eyes.

“Also I can’t say no when I hear the poor lonely man has gummy bears, and too many red ones. I love the red ones, but Zayn doesn’t.” Harry says before Louis can say anything, and Zayn blushes even harder. “You could say we complete each other, don’t we?”

Harry turns to face Zayn with a big grin and Louis wonders if Harry has any idea what he is doing to Zayn right now. Probably not. Louis rolls his eyes again instead.

“You sorting your gummy bears again?”

“You are trying to change the subject here Tommo, now why did you argue with Horan in the first place?” Zayn asks, and Louis wonders if it isn’t him who is changing the subject so his stupid crush on Harry Styles won’t be obvious. “You know those guys are pricks and since this tournament is in Ireland, they are probably worse. So why…”

“I was just checking this place out!” Louis almost shouts, because he can’t believe Zayn thinks he was actively trying to pick a fight. “I didn’t know he would be there and I didn’t even know who he was, I mean, I didn’t care.”

“Well, give it back to him when we win and they are busy throwing up due to too much alcohol.” Harry says, sounding smart about it as if this is easy. Louis shakes his head.

“Yeah, we are not losing against them okay? We’re just not. We are gonna score like ten goals and they will cry.”

He doesn’t know why he is this upset, but he doesn’t love to be made a fool out of, and he bet Niall and his team mates are talking badly about him right now anyway. Harry nods.

“Ten goals might be a bit difficult, but we can try. Keep on your feet.”

Louis sighs, remembering bleached one, Niall, and what he said.

“If I’m even playing. It would just be nice if coach put me on the bench for the first game, bet that Horan guy will find me then and tell me how much of a shit player I obviously am.”

“That won’t happen.” Harry says firmly, as if he can decide these things. Louis looks at him, hoping for nothing else in the world but that Harry is right in this.

 

**

 

England wins against Denmark, and Louis isn’t benched at all, and he even manage to make a pass to Dylan who scores and when they win with 3-0 Louis can’t believe they are actually living this life. Zayn is crying almost, almost as he hugs him afterwards before the team hits the showers.

“Told you, you could do this.” Zayn grins and Louis nods, and is just about to say something when he looks up and noticing Niall Horan sitting there with a couple of other lads from his team. Louis stiffens up as soon as he notices them and Zayn seems to notice that. Niall is watching him, but he isn’t saying anything now, just giving Louis a bit of a nod and Louis is a bit confused by it all. Very confused.

Zayn follows his eyes and when both of them look at Niall, Niall looks away, turning to his friend again to say something.

“Why is he staring at you?” Zayn asks, looking just as confused as Louis feels. Louis just shrugs, he doesn’t know what to make out of it, and chooses to just let it go.

“Dunno. Hey, we’re celebrating later right? You’re staying a few more days so we can party tonight? We don’t have that game versus Ireland until Thursday.”

Zayn laughs and nods.

“Yes, I will. Now please go shower, you stink.”

 

 

After the shower Louis turns around a corner as he tries to organize his bags with all the clothes at the same time and he manages to run straight into Niall who is coming around the corner at the same time.

“Ouch.” Is all Louis manages to say before he drops his bag, clothes everywhere and he hears a lot of curse words with an Irish accent before he looks up and realizes it’s Niall. He frowns.

“Oh it’s you.” He says, before he starts picking his clothes up. Niall is sitting on the floor, knocked to the ground by the impact and he looks darkly at Louis.

“Watch where you’re going will ya?”

Louis rolls his eyes.

“You could do that too, you know.”

Niall looks as if Louis has seriously offended him for a moment, but then he just sighs and shakes his head instead of saying anything else. He gets up, standing very close to Louis now and Louis might notice the way he smells of cologne and shampoo, not that he should notice that or even care.

“I saw you out there. You really do fall a lot, don’t you?” He asks and Louis isn’t even sure why he isn’t just moving past Niall to get back to the hotel and meet up with his friends.

“Better than playing like crap.” He spits out and Niall gasps.

“You better take that back, Tomlinson. I am the captain, I don’t play like crap.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Louis retorts before pushing back Niall. “Now if you excuse me, I have some place to be.”

“Don’t offend me and walk away.” Niall calls out after him, as if it was Louis who started all this. Louis just shakes his head, not even bothering to reply. He just keeps his eyes forward and not looking back.

“Louis!” Niall shouts, but Louis is really just not in the mood and even though he wants to turn around and look what it is Niall wants, he doesn’t. Sometimes he can handle himself.

 

**

 

“Niall is looking at you.” Harry comments at breakfast and Louis slightly turns his head to see and yes, Niall is sitting with the other guy, Liam, from his team and they seem to be having a conversation as Niall now and then glances over at Louis. Louis rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to Harry and Zayn instead.

“Why is he looking at you?” Zayn asks, confused as he arches an eyebrow and Louis shrugs.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?” Louis says, a bit too snappy and Zayn raises his hand.

“Woah, okay, sorry about that, what’s going on?”

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t…” Louis sighs, not even sure what to say. “I don’t know why he is looking at me, okay? He keeps showing up and I just see him everywhere I go, it’s really annoying.”

Harry frowns, as if he is trying to figure out what is going on.

“Maybe he just wants to keep you distracted from the game or something, I mean… that would be kind of typical, wouldn’t it?”

Louis sighs, sipping his tea. He really wishes he had some Yorkshire.

“Yeah. I don’t know. I guess I’ll just try to ignore it. Him. Whatever it is, if I ignore him he can’t get to me right.”

Zayn nods.

“Yeah, that’s a good plan. Ignore him. So… is it okay if Harry and I go shopping today? There’s this store he wanted to show me.” Zayn adds, and he is blushing and Louis is so tempted to ask why he can’t come along, but he isn’t that much of a dick. He nods.

“Yeah, sure it is. I’ll be busy anyway. Ignoring Niall Horan. It’s a full time job.”

 

 

Louis tries to ignore Niall and would very well like to ignore him for the rest of the tournament but it’s pretty impossible when Niall seems to be everywhere and especially when they have to meet Niall out on the field, him and his friends giving nothing but snarky remarks as soon as the others are close. Harry just brushes it off but Louis gets annoyed, especially when Niall and Liam, the other forward on Ireland’s team makes a big thing about Louis falling over and mimicking it until they are both roaring with laughter along with their teammates.

“Ignore them, they are pricks, don’t let them get to you.” Dylan says and Louis tries, he really tries, but there is also the part where he wants to strangle Niall. He isn’t sure why it just gets to him. He isn’t sure why Niall keeps treating him like this and why he is constantly everywhere he goes.

He notices Niall looking at him as they start the game and he wonders why, and it doesn’t seem to make sense.

 

They play 0-0 which means they need to win their last game to be sure to advance but Louis isn’t nervous about that, he is just annoyed that he missed a free kick in the last minutes that could have been a goal, and he is pretty sure he will hear all of it later. And as Harry and Zayn decides to celebrate in ways Louis doesn’t want to know anything about considering how they have been looking at each other lately, Louis takes his time to just go for a walk and be by himself.

He finds a forest path after walking for a few minutes, seeing a bunch of people jogging and thinking that it’s probably nice to take that path and decides to. He is just starting to enjoy the peace and quiet when he hears someone calling his name.

“Louis.”

He turns around, noticing Niall. It’s not like he should be surprised, he has seen him everywhere lately but he still sighs.

“Hey.”

He doesn’t have the energy to even be rude or try to tell Niall to get lost. Niall doesn’t seem to either, but Louis is still very surprised as Niall walks up to his side, starting to walk with him.

“Listen… the game… you played good. It was a good game.”

Louis arches an eyebrow.

“Was that a compliment?”

“Don’t make a big deal out of it.” Niall mutters, pushing his hair out of his face and under the beanie he is wearing and Louis nods, even though it is a bit of a big deal because Niall has never even spoken to him without being mean before. “Just thought you should know, that’s all. So…”

“So?” Louis asks, because this is seriously confusing and he is not really sure why Niall is here and talking to him.

“You’re good, you know. I mean sometimes you… but you’re good. Great player.” Niall’s voice is a bit weirder now, it’s weaker and not that strong of an accent and Louis has never been more confused in his life. He wonders if maybe he walked into a different reality, an alternative universe where Niall Horan is a nice guy when he walked into this forest.

“Okay, what’s with the compliments?” Louis asks because he can’t stop himself. Niall sighs.

“I just… well, maybe I haven’t been…”

“Seriously, what are you doing, are you trying to mess with my head or something?” Louis asks, suddenly feeling a bit annoyed. “Because it’s not fun, you can’t just be a complete jerk to me and then all of a sudden come up to me and act as if we’re friends or…”

“I’m not, okay, I’m sorry I did that I just thought I should get to know you…” Niall starts and now Louis has to laugh.

“Get to know me? You could do that without acting like an ass first you know.” Louis says and now he is speeding up, because he is annoyed with the whole thing.

“Well I guess I did it because I think you’re hot okay? I was nervous.” Niall says, running after him as if he struggles to keep up which really, he shouldn’t because he’s got taller legs than Louis and Louis isn’t even walking that fast. The comment makes Louis laugh.

“Pl- _ease_.” He spits out, turning to face Niall with dark eyes. “Being an ass to someone is not a very good way to show affection. Actually, it’s gross. So don’t come up to me with this shit Niall because I, frankly, have no intention of listening to it.” He tries not to react to the way Niall just called him hot, because really that is not what is important here. The guy is still a jerk.

“Fine, I’m a bloody idiot.” Niall says, and it sounds as if he is out of breath and it only makes Louis quicken his pace. He isn’t sure why he doesn’t just tell Niall to leave him alone. “It was stupid and I am pathetic and my friends were all bloody talkin’ bout how perfect you are right? And I made a decision to not like you because, no competition right, don’t like it, but then you show up and I see you and you’re something else, aren’t you?”

“You’re something else alright.”

“I’m not gay.” Niall blurts out, still practically chasing after Louis and Louis wonders why, why he is after him and what he did he ever do to deserve all this, he must have been horrible in an earlier life.

“Okay, let me take notes.” He says through gritted teeth. Niall sighs.

“Okay, okay I mean I’m… but… and then…”

“Niall, leave me the fuck alone.” Louis hisses, way too tired to spend time with someone just trying to grind his gears, way too tired. “You had your fun, go back to your friends, go…”

Niall grabs his arms and before Louis can even do anything he kisses him. Hard. Really hard and their noses bump together and Louis pulls away quickly, wiping his mouth.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asks with anger trembling on his tongue. “You can’t just go around kissing people!”

Niall looks pale and as if he’s ready to cry, but Louis is not falling for that.

“I’m sorry fuck, I’m sorry about it, I…”

“Go take your non-gay kisses somewhere else and stop bothering me.” Louis grunts, starting to walk again, shaking Niall’s hand off of his arm. “I do not have time for this, some of wants to be on top for their game tomorrow.”

“Louis shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to kiss you, I…”

Louis sighs and stops again, and Niall catches up to him. Louis is really too nice for his own good. This is what keeps getting him in trouble, Zayn always says so.

“It’s fine, just don’t go around kissing me because you’re confused or something.” Louis mutters because honestly, he’s been through the whole confused straight boys’ routine, and he is already tired of it. Niall sighs.

“I’ve never liked a boy before.” He explains, as if that will help and maybe it could get Louis to feel a bit flattered, if it wasn’t for the fact that he still thinks Niall is an obnoxious prick. “And then I saw you and I just…”

“Spare me your wet dreams.” Louis rolls his eyes but it is a bit amusing as well how Niall looks nervous and a bit freaked out in front of him. Niall blush as he hears that. “You don’t even know me. This is just some fantasy.”

“I’m not…” He starts, but Louis doesn’t want to listen now.

“See you at the next game.”

“Louis!” Niall calls out again and one last time Louis stops, turning to face him.

“What?”

Hands shoved down his pockets, Niall is chewing on his lower lip nervously.

“Will you tell anyone I said I like you? And the kiss? Because I…”

Louis sighs, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry, your big gay secret is safe with me.”

“I am not…”

Louis stops listening and he doesn’t look back as he starts walking, and Niall doesn’t follow him.

 

**

 

Thanks to a great last game and the other teams not playing good, both England and Ireland advance to the quarter finals were Ireland gets an easy win against USA and England needs to go up against Germany.

It’s not the quarter final of a dream, and Louis is very nervous because Germany looks good, really good and they have so many great players. As they start the game Louis is pretty sure he will throw up, and he just hopes he won’t do it in front of everyone. Because there are better things to be known for than the guy who falls a lot and then pukes.

England defeats Germany though, after what feels like a bit of a miracle. It probably is a miracle, at least the magnificent save Harry does in the last minute is and Louis can’t even believe they won 3-2, and is now moving on to the semi-finals.

“Congratulations.”

Louis is surprised with the voice, it’s soft and sweet and he turns around and notices Niall. Niall is leaning against the wall, a smile on his face and it’s making Louis smile too, which he hates.

“Thanks.” He says with the smile still plastered on his face. “To you too. I mean… for your win.”

“Thanks.” Niall says softly and it’s awkward, it’s so awkward and Louis almost wish to have back the time when they were just saying mean things about each other because this is awkward and he doesn’t know what to say. They stay like that for a moment, until they both speak at the same time and it turns even more awkward and Louis has to blush because the whole thing is just ridiculous.

“You first.” He says, and Niall nods.

“So… you wanna hang out? I mean… I know this place that serves the best burgers and…”

“You’re asking me out?” Louis arches an eyebrow and Niall blushes now, it’s as if they are taking turns in the blushing and Louis feels stupid.

“No… I mean… I don’t know maybe?”

He is clearly inexperienced, at least with boys and Louis shouldn’t be surprised but there is something so strange about looking at Niall Horan being a blushing mess when just days ago he was this dude who didn’t seem to let anything bother him. Louis can’t help but smile.

“Why should I say yes? You’ve kind of been a dick.” He says because he is not one to just let things go, the way Niall has been treating him isn’t something he can forget even if the other has apologized. Niall sighs.

“I know I’ve been, okay? Consider this my way of making things up to you. I feel really bad about all of it. Come on, it’s my treat.”

Louis hesitates still. It feels as if he is going to agree to easily, and also he should see if Harry wanted to hang out and celebrate but then again Harry has the whole team and with Zayn going home, Louis thinks he can’t be that wrong in just wanting to go out to eat.

Also he is really hungry.

“Okay.” He agrees finally, and there is a shadow of relief on Niall’s face that Louis can’t help but smile about. “Just let me take my bag back to the hotel okay?”

 

**

 

“And then I guess dad decided I should be the star instead and here I am, think I’m doing a good job?” Niall asks, finishing a long story about how he started to play ball and Louis can’t help but smile a little. It’s easy to listen to Niall, a bit too easy. Louis wished he wasn’t this charming because he still isn’t that sure he likes him very much. He was after all treating Louis like he was worth nothing. He nods anyway in agreement.

“Yeah. Great job.” He says, drinking from his glass of coke and then wipes his mouth on a napkin. They’ve had burgers, biggest burgers Louis has ever seen and he could barely finish half of his own and almost none of the fries, but Niall who seems to have no limit when it comes to eating ate not only his own burger and fries, but is now also helping himself to Louis’ fries who are starting to get cold and gross the way fries turn when you leave them for too long. They have been talking for what seems like forever and Louis’ pocket has been buzzing with text messages for a while now, probably Harry who wonders where he went and Louis feels a bit ashamed with how he is ignoring him and also about the fact that he is having a great time.

There’s just no denying it. When they are apart from everything else, Niall is really nice and funny in a way that doesn’t really show when he is around his friends, and Louis is annoyingly fond of this side of him.

They talk for one more hour, until Niall seems to realise they should probably get going and Louis is a bit thankful, not that he wanted their conversation to end but there is the fact that Harry might actually think he is kidnapped considering how long he has been gone and anyway, he isn’t even sure what to tell him he’s been doing.

“I had a great time.” Niall says and Louis nods in agreement.

“Me too.”

“Who would have thought?” Niall says, and there’s that smile that Louis hasn’t seen that much of during the tournament, but now tonight he has seen it a lot. It’s a very nice smile. He smiles as well.

“Not me.”

They stay like that, awkwardly silent for a moment as Louis tries to decide what the proper thing to do here is, wondering if Niall will try to kiss him again and if he would be against it this time. He doesn’t have time to think about it though because Niall decides as he gives Louis a little wave, saying a ‘see you around’ so quickly and then he is gone.

Louis tries not to be disappointed as he makes his way back to the hotel room. He is not.

And when Harry asks him where he has been when Louis finally returns his texts, he says he’s been out and decides that he can tell Harry about what he was actually doing tomorrow.

 

**

 

“So… you’re… dating Niall?” Harry seems to have trouble wrapping his thoughts around all of this and Louis shakes his head so quickly he almost falls over. They are out for a morning jog, Louis thankfully not having any trouble keeping up with Harry and his long legs.

“No, fuck, we’re not dating. We just hung out, that’s all. Thinks he wants to be friends.”

Harry glances over at Louis as if he can’t really believe this, but then he smiles and Louis remembers how Harry always seems to see the good in everyone.

“Well maybe he is coming around then, realising he doesn’t have to be such a dick!” He exclaims, and Louis can’t help but smile now as well as he notices the big grin on Harry’s face. “And if he likes you… do you like him?”

Louis turns red, but he doesn’t think Harry will be able to notice because his face is already a bit flushed from the long jog.

“It’s not like that.” He decides to say because he doesn’t want to make things into a bigger… thing, than it is. “And anyway what’s up with you and Zayn?” He asks instead, hoping to change the subject or catch Harry off guard.

He doesn’t, because Harry just smiles.

“Zayn’s great isn’t he? Bloody beautiful lad, and so sweet.”

Louis pretends to grimace but he can’t help but smile, knowing Zayn would just love to hear that.

“Are you dating him?” He asks and Harry laughs and shrugs before stopping next to a park bench, getting his foot up to stretch out his leg a little. Louis stops next to him, jogging on the spot to not lose his energy.

“Dating? I don’t think so.” Harry seems to think about it. “I mean he left now but well, I would like to see him again so maybe after this tournament I’ll come visit him. You. Both of you.” He adds before he starts running again and Louis follows. He is smiling, but then Harry turns around with a grin.

“Maybe I’ll bring Niall, huh?”

Louis wants to trip him.

 

**

 

**_“Wanna meet before the game?”_ **

Louis notices the text from Niall a bit late, he is getting out of the shower after his run and he realizes that Niall does have a game today and he had forgotten. He checks the time, hoping he isn’t replying too late before he texts back.

**_“Yeah, sure. Where?”_ **

**_“I can come to your hotel room?”_ **

Louis feels his cheeks flush at that because he hadn’t expected that. They have almost always met in semi-public places and now it’s very… private. He doesn’t want to freak out though so he nods to himself and then texts back.

**_“Yeah sure, it’s 306.”_ **

 

 

Niall is there after 10 minutes, Louis wonders how close by he was and when he opens the door Niall is smiling. He is wearing a football jacket and a beanie, along with shorts and fancy looking shoes and Louis also wonders if he shouldn’t be getting ready with his team.

“Wanted to see you.” Niall says quietly as if he could read Louis’ mind. “I’m sorry, if it’s not…”

“No, no it’s fine.” Louis quickly says, realising that he must look weird, as if he doesn’t really feel comfortable about this. “I just thought… your game.”

“They can be without me for 30 minutes, it doesn’t start until later. The team will be okay warming up.” Niall murmurs and then he steps inside the hotel room as soon as Louis steps to the side to allow him to.

As soon as the door close behind them, Niall turns to face Louis and he swallows, and then Louis swallows, meeting Niall’s eyes and Louis is pretty sure he could touch the tension between them.

“So… after dinner… I kind of…” Niall stammers and Louis wonders why he is nervous, but then again Louis is nervous too so maybe they are both just as bad. This is awful, he shouldn’t be this nervous.

“What?” Louis asks and Niall sighs, nervously pulling the sleeves of his jacket.

“I wanted to kiss you but I wasn’t sure if… I mean, because the first time…” Niall blushes and Louis is pretty sure he is blushing too.

“Well… maybe… it would be okay if you…” Louis starts, but he doesn’t even have time to finish the sentence because as soon as he hears the okay, Niall rushes forward and grabbing hold of a fist full of Louis’ shirt, pulling him and kissing him hard.

Louis is not really that well prepared this time either, but this time he is not against it which means his eyes flutter close, and his arms wrap around Niall’s waist to pull him closer. Niall lets out a little noise of approval at that and then they kiss, Louis’ tongue sliding inside Niall’s eager mouth in no time and he tastes like toothpaste and gum and Louis can’t help but wonder if he had planned this. He wanted to kiss Louis again. And Louis kind of wished he had been planning this too because he is pretty sure he tastes of old tea and breakfast, but Niall doesn’t seem to mind.

They kiss and Louis loses track of time, doesn’t know how long they are going at it and there are hummed noises of approval coming from both of them and Louis’ body realises how long it has been since anyone did this to him and touched him and he feels his dick waking up which has him slightly panic because he doesn’t want it to happen and Niall to notice.

Niall pulls away though, lips still slightly parted and face flushed as he watched Louis, taking heavy, deep breaths.

“I… gotta go.” He murmurs, and as if he can see Louis get disappointed, wondering if this is him freaking out he shakes his head. “I mean… the game I… I can’t be late, I’m the captain. Not because… of this… I mean… this was nice.”

Louis nods. It was nice. His whole being thinks this was nice, he is feeling things he really shouldn’t be seeing.

“Are you coming to the game?” Niall asks, nervously running his fingers through his hair as he keeps his eyes on Louis, and a smile forms on his lips. “Because…”

“Yeah. Yeah I’ll be there.” Louis says without even considering it for longer than two seconds and it makes Niall smile again. He leans forward and pecks Louis’ lips a couple of times, as if to see if they still taste the same. Louis’ eyes flutter close once more.

“See you there, then.” Niall mumbles and when Louis opens his eyes again, Niall is walking out the door and it’s closing behind him.

Louis groans softly, wondering how horrible he is but he can’t help himself and his dick is still half hard and as he takes a quick shower before texting Harry to ask if he wants to go to the Ireland game, he wanks himself off, forehead pressed against the cool tile as water washes over him. He is fast and not gentle with himself but as he comes, he pictures Niall and wonders how he ended up in this situation.

 

 

**

 

Harry wants to come to the game and if he notices how Louis is a bit more than just excited, he doesn’t say anything about it, just happily walks with Louis to the section of the arena where the teams can sit and watch the game. The teams are warming up, Niall is kicking the ball back and forth between him and Liam before he picks the ball up, turning to walk over and get a bottle of water.

Louis waves at Niall, giving him a smile but as they get eye contact, Niall tense up and then he turns around, facing his friends again as if Louis is air and non-existent. Louis drops his hand, feeling all colour drain from his face and this, this Harry notices.

“What was that?” He asks, eyes trailing from Louis who is watching Niall and Niall, who is acting as if Louis is nothing and not even there. Louis looks down at his shoes. “I thought you guys were hanging out, right? What is going on?”

“Nothin’.”

“Come on.” Harry says, but Louis doesn’t want to reply. He looks up again, and this time he notices Liam pointing towards him and grimacing, turning to Niall for a laugh and Louis feels his heart clench as Niall laughs too.

“I’m gonna go.” He says, getting up from the seat as soon as he decides it. Harry watches him, but he doesn’t say anything, just nods.

“Okay, do you want me to…?”

“I’ll just go for a walk.” Louis mumbles, hating pretty much everything surrounding him as he climbs the stairs, leaving the arena without as much as looking back. He can’t believe Niall would do this.

Or maybe he should have known.

 

Louis curls up in bed, feeling like an idiot and miserable and pathetic, Harry keeps texting him with updates on the game and when he sends him that Ireland lost 2-1 and that Niall missed open goal in the last minute, Louis lets out an evil laugh before he stops himself, feeling bad. Although he shouldn’t. Suits him right. He sighs, feeling ridiculous. What had he expected, that Niall would go from acting like he was nothing, to that they were actually friends? He shouldn’t have expected it.

Only that he could, because he truly thought Niall wasn’t that much a jerk. He really thought he could be a decent guy for longer than a couple of hours. Louis blinks away tears, cursing himself and everything that makes him remember Niall’s lips on his, when he hears a knock on the door.

At first he thinks he will just let it be, but then something gets him to stand up and walk over to the door and soon he opens it only to see Niall outside. Niall looks as if he has been running, and as if he ignored showering because he is still wearing jogging pants and a jacket, hair a mess in stripes around his face.

“Oh, it’s you.” Louis says before he can say anything else. Niall nods, biting his lip.

“Yes it’s me.”

“Mhm.” Louis says coldly, wondering why he isn’t shutting the door in his face.

“You left.” Niall mumbles and Louis nods.

“Yeah, didn’t really feel like staying.”

“I can’t believe we fucking lost.” Niall’s voice is dancing on the edge of upset and angry, and Louis backs away, letting him come inside even though he wants to ask Niall why the fuck he was acting like that at the game.

“I don’t care.” Louis says, staring back at Niall as Niall looks up at him, clearly confused by it.

“You…”

“Why did you ignore me?”

Niall sighs as if it’s stupid how Louis can ask this now. Louis only gets even angrier, but Niall doesn’t seem to notice.

“I didn’t know what to say, it was the game, it was… I couldn’t just tell Liam and the guys that I spent time kissing you, they would be…”

He stops, and Louis rolls his eyes, wondering if Niall is used to getting away with everything. He probably is. Louis is about to say something back when Niall tears up, and Louis’ anger disappears. He hates that it does, but he is already a bit weak when it comes to Niall. It makes him hate himself even more.

“It was an open goal. Two minutes left and I had the biggest chance to at least get us tied so they would give us the extra time…” Niall whispers, back on the field in his thoughts and Louis doesn’t stop him.

“I know, Harry told me.”

“Everyone saw.” Niall shakes his head. “In front of the whole nation, the world, I make a fucking fool out of myself. I messed it up.”

Louis doesn’t really know what to do. Or to say. Niall is shaking now, his body trembling as he thinks about the game. Louis wants to ask him why he went to Louis and not to any of his teammates or family. Wonders if they are angry at him and that’s why he is here. It doesn’t seem fair, Louis shouldn’t have to deal with him being like this when he clearly only wants to be around him when there is no one else around.

But right now Louis doesn’t seem to think about that.

“I feel so fucking useless.” Niall says, slamming his fist into the wall. “I shouldn’t have missed that...”

“Hey…” Louis walks up to him, pulling him close without thinking. “Come on you’re not…”

“I’m so useless.” Niall mumbles, hiding his face against Louis’ shoulder and then he looks up, meeting Louis’ eyes and Louis doesn’t even have time to think about how beautiful Niall looks and how much he hates that he does, before they are kissing again, kissing harder than before.

Louis is even more surprised when Niall pushes him over to the bed and as Louis falls on top of it, he wonders if he should stop what is obviously going on but he can’t, he really can’t because Niall crawls on top of him, straddling his waist before he keeps kissing him. Louis whimpers and it makes Niall smile for a second, before he pulls away.

“Can we… do something?” He asks, cheeks flushed and Louis feels himself redden as well.

“Like… uhm…”

“Can I touch you?” Niall whispers, hands already moving down Louis’ body. “Can you… touch me?”

Louis nods without even thinking, because right now all his blood is just rushing in one direction and as he tries to regain control of himself, it’s difficult as Niall’s hands make him feel as if he has no control whatsoever.

“Y-yeah we can do that.” He manages to say before Niall lets out a sigh of relief and they are kissing again. Louis’ hands work by themselves, slipping under Niall’s shirt and scratches his abs lightly, finding his sensitive nipples and Niall moans against Louis’ lips. His hands are careful as they move over Louis’ body, Louis wonders if it is because he is afraid of doing too much or if he is just unsure on what to do.

Louis decides he might as well just help him to see that everything is okay, and he moves to Niall’s pants, carefully pushing them down his calves which has Niall tense up for a moment and Louis stops, but then Niall kisses his neck and whimpers, Louis pretty sure he hears a _please_ , or just a _yes_ , and then he makes sure the only piece of clothing left on Niall is his boxer shorts.

“Are you sure?” He asks anyway, because really, he doesn’t want Niall to do anything he isn’t comfortable with and Louis doesn’t want to be the one to push him in that direction. Niall nods, almost eagerly.

“Y-yeah, okay, yes please just… anything.” He murmurs and Louis decides that it’s as much as he can handle without actually doing anything, Niall begging for him and that’s why he rolls them over. Niall makes a little surprised moan as he is suddenly on his back, and then Louis pulls his boxers down. Giving himself just a few moments to admire the other, Niall is hard and leaking, his cock bends slightly to the right and Louis could never have expected this to happen.

Especially not with Niall, he thinks as he wraps a hand around his shaft, giving him a few pumps before he licks his lips and lowers his head, sucking Niall into his mouth.

Niall lets out a loud moan as soon as his lips are wrapped around the head of his cock, and as Louis slowly work his way so that he gets as much of him as he can into his mouth, the moans only get louder. Louis wonders if anyone will hear them, deciding he doesn’t care.

It doesn’t take long at all, and without as much of a warning Niall comes and Louis swallows, trying to not gag because he is pretty sure that would look bad. Usually he doesn’t like it when people come in his mouth but he doesn’t want to argue that right now. Niall falls back against the sheets, breathing heavy and hard and Louis just stays next to him for several moments, just watching him as he realizes how exhausted he must be.

Niall falls asleep, arms wrapped lazily around Louis and Louis wants to comment on how he really doesn’t usually like being held as he is sleeping, but he doesn’t want to complain about it right now either. So many things he doesn’t care about right now And in the morning Niall blows him in the shower before he takes off, and as Louis gets dressed he thinks that he can basically win any game he ever try to play.

 

**

 

They play a good game, probably their best game ever but it’s not enough and when they hear the whistle Harry falls down on his knees and Louis just stands there, looking around and feeling nothing but disappointment because they lost, they lost 1-0 and there are so many things Louis feel like he could have done better. He wipes the tears away, hugging the other guys and congratulates the winning team while not even register their faces, and Louis feels like he just wants to get off the field right now and go home because this means they are going up against Ireland for third place, and Louis doesn’t know how to handle that. As he disappointed is about to hit the showers, he notices the Ireland team, Niall there and Louis suddenly just desperately needs to talk to him. He just needs a friendly word to know that it’s okay, and as he make his way over to them he spots Niall and Liam looking up, Liam noticing him first.

“Tomlinson, see you at the game, stop stalking our captain right?” Liam laughs, if you can call it laughter when there seems to be no joy other than mean snarks coming from his mouth. Louis feels his blood go cold, but he forces himself to look at Niall. Niall seems to want to say something, but he doesn’t, and Louis has never felt more disappointed.

“I thought we could talk…”

“What, the two of us?” Niall asks, laughing a bit too loud and Louis can tell he is nervous and that it’s not what he wants to be saying but it is what he is saying anyway and Louis is suddenly very, very angry. Almost so angry that disappointment of losing, the fear of meeting Niall in a game again when there’s a bronze medal on the line, disappears. “Well that’s new, isn’t it?”

It’s not Niall, Louis can tell he is trying so hard to keep up with some kind of appearances in front of the other guys on the team, who are now laughing at Louis and commenting under their breaths about England’s crap game, as if they didn’t just lose as well.

Louis does so not have time or energy for this. He shakes his head, giving Niall an evil glare that can’t be mistaken for anything else than just that, evil.

“Fine, don’t talk to me. Don’t ever talk to me again. But forget coming to me for comfort when you need it.” He spats out and he can see Niall being shocked by it and Liam looks from one to the other, clearly confused as to what is going on but if he says anything, either to Louis or to Niall, Louis doesn’t know because he turns his back on them, running away with his heart beating in his chest.

 

He showers, realizing everyone is done before he is and no one, not even Harry bothered to wait for him today. Louis doesn’t even have the energy to be sad over this, just gets dressed and packs his things, getting ready to head back to the hotel room. It has started to rain again, like it has every day now and Louis puts his earphones in to listen to a Spotify playlist Zayn made him, trying to not be disappointed.

“Louis. Louis!”

It takes him a while to realize someone is calling his name and he turns around, noticing Niall running up to him. he grunts, starting to walk faster.

“Louis, please, Louis, wait.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Louis hisses, but then Niall grabs his arm and Louis is forced to stop.

“Please. I just want to talk…”

“Talk?” Louis laughs, looking around. “Yeah right, it’s okay now when no one is around, right? So what do you want to talk about, football or about how you are ashamed of me, how you’re a mean dick I shouldn’t have spoken to in the first place?”

He’s harsh, and Niall has tears in his eyes, Louis didn’t notice before. He doesn’t say anything, and Louis who is furious now, repeats himself.

“What’s it gonna be huh? Wanna talk game or wanna talk about how you’re so fucking ashamed of being seen with me?”

“I’m not ashamed of you.” Niall yells, tears streaming down his face but Louis doesn’t want to listen, he is tired of lies, tired of feeling like this, tired of Niall.

“You are so ashamed of me.” He retorts, giving Niall an evil glare. “You don’t want any precious douche friends of yours to find out you secretly enjoy sucking cock and being with me, and for that you treat me like crap in public. You are ashamed of me, of yourself, and I am not having it Niall. I refuse to be back in the closet just because you’re scared. You can’t treat me like this.”

“I don’t want it to be like that.” Niall says, and he is still crying and his voice is thick and Louis is almost having trouble understanding what it is he is saying. “I don’t want it to be a secret, I want everyone to know, Louis. I want everyone to know I like you.”

“You don’t even want your friends to know we are talking.” Louis yells, and he can’t even believe Niall is standing there lying to his face because he is. Niall sobs, and Louis wants to leave, he doesn’t want to see this, doesn’t need to see this, and knows exactly where this will end.

“I’m just not ready.” Niall whispers and he wipes his eyes, Louis can tell how he is trying to stop crying but it seems impossible, as if something finally broke inside him and Louis feels like he is broken too, only that he doesn’t even have the energy for tears right now. “I’m not ready for them all to find out that I like you, I’m scared.”

“I know.” Louis says, his voice softening a bit but he is not backing down. “I know what it’s like to be scared. But I can’t help you through it if you’re going to act as if I’m nothing as soon as other people are around.”

“I know.” Niall sobs, tears coming back to him. “But I’m not ashamed of you Louis, please I… I’m not ashamed of you, I’m just…”

“It doesn’t matter.” Louis whispers and really it doesn’t right now. He can’t have this discussion. “I’ll see you at the game, don’t call me and don’t come to see me.”

“Louis, please, I’m sorry.” Niall tries to grab his arm but Louis breaks free from it, not wanting to be touched right now and especially not wanting Niall to get him to leave.

“I’ll see you at the game.” He repeats and then adds, because it doesn’t really matter that Niall is upset now because he is proper pissed about it all. “Tell Liam I said hi. Or don’t, because then I guess you have to admit to him that you are actually talking to me when no one is around.”

“Louis…” Niall tries again but it’s no good when Louis isn’t listening. And he is really done listening.

 

**

 

The coach adds three extra practices before the game as if that will magically help them get even better, and Louis is exhausted. He has managed to avoid and ignore Niall for days now, only one time spotting him in the hotel lobby before he quickly hid behind a pile of apples. He doesn’t like hiding, but he doesn’t want to be seen, doesn’t want to talk to Niall at all.

“I think we can win this!” Harry tells him the night before the game and he is sitting on Louis’ bed as Louis is laying there staring up into the ceiling, thinking about everything else but what is going on around him right this instant.

“Mhm.” He agrees without hearing a word of what Harry has just said. Harry stares at him.

“Because you know, we are great players.”

“Totally.” Louis says, still not really listening.

“And…” Harry continues, as he is realizing that Louis isn’t paying attention to him at all. “I had sex with Zayn before he left.”

“Good.” Louis says, voice silent.

“And maybe I should have sex with Niall because…”

He stops because Louis turns to look at him, suddenly realizing what Harry has been saying.

“Wait, what?”

Harry grins, looking so extremely pleased with himself.

“See, now you’re listening! I knew I had to get your attention some way, don’t worry, I was only joking, well about the Niall part because the Zayn part was true.”

Louis groans, hiding his face in his hands because thinking about Zayn having sex is really like thinking about his own brother having sex and it’s not pleasant.

“Please no details.”

“I swear.” Harry grins, poking Louis’ side. “He is really good though.”

“I don’t want to know!” Louis throws a pillow at Harry but he is grateful, grateful that Harry is here to cheer him up because it feels better now and he actually laughs, for the first time in days.

“Still not talking to Niall?” Harry asks as they have calmed down and Louis shakes his head.

“Nope. Doubt I will until the game.”

Harry sighs but he doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t need to, Louis understands.

And he hates that he misses Niall.

 

**

 

Louis walks onto the field to cheers and boos, and it’s crazy how everyone in the crowd is making noise. He stands with the rest of the team, on his tippy toes to just stay on top of things as he looks over the sea of green shirts and white shirts, nervous and excited at the same time. The Irish team walks out and Niall looks determined, or as if he is going to be sick. Louis knows the feeling. They shake hands before kick-off, and as soon as they start Louis feels the energy in his legs, the way he bounce off the ground and Harry is looking safer than ever in the goal. They can do this. And as Dylan manage to get a cross ball to Peter who scores, Louis feels like they can win everything.

 

When the whistle blows for half time, Louis has accidentally ended up tripping Niall twice and is dangerously close to getting a yellow card. They are still in the lead 1-0 and the way it feels now, Louis isn’t sure they can ever lose this.

“Guys, looking great out there, keep going.” Harry cheers them on after the coach said a few words and then Louis hugs him.

“We can do this. We really can.”

“Of course we can.” Harry smiles brightly, squeezing Louis’ hand. “Don’t worry about it, just score some more, okay?”

Louis laughs, it sounds so easy and he wants to do just that. Score millions of goals. And that Niall watches him as he does.

 

When they start the second half something must have given the Irish team extra energy because they are on fire. They run faster than Louis has ever seen before and soon Liam manages to score, Harry being confused for just a second and it was enough for Liam to manage to get the ball past him. Louis stops, taking deep breaths as he watches them cheer and run back to their side, giving an encouraging thumbs up to Harry who kicks the ground.

“We can still do this guys, come on!” Someone cheers, and Louis can’t even stop to look who it is because they need another score, they can’t lose this now they just can’t.

It’s five minutes left when Niall manages to interfere with a pass from Dylan to Simon, and Louis watches almost in slow motion how suddenly everyone seems to be somewhere else, and Niall has a clear route to Harry, and it’s almost the same situation as in the last game, Louis has seen footage of it and he wants Niall to miss now as well, desperately wants him to miss.

He doesn’t.

Harry’s fingers brushes against the ball as he throws himself after it but Louis watches how the ball pass him and hits the net and then there’s just the roar coming from the crowd and the team as Niall is being lifted off the ground, and even if it’s five minutes to go they cheer as if they have already won and Niall is glowing, practically glowing and Louis feels all the air disappear from his lungs.

“Don’t give up guys!” He hears Dylan call out but Louis doesn’t really listen.

And then it’s over. 2 additional minutes doesn’t help and he hears the whistle almost before the ref puts it to his lips.

It’s like two different worlds, the Irish team looks ready to burst into flames from joy and they are hugging and crying and Louis stands, just stands there watching his own team break down into tears and the rest is almost a blur as he feels the arena just disappear around him.

He doesn’t pass out, just fades out, doesn’t react when anyone comes up to him, just makes sure that no one moves him.

Louis doesn’t want to leave. They lost, Ireland won, and as the cheers die out and the team go to shower or drown themselves, he isn’t really sure, Louis just doesn’t want to leave the field. As soon as he does, this is over, and he will be forced to go back home and 4th place is, even if it’s better than he probably had expected, a disappointment. He sighs, sitting down in the wet grass and he wishes Zayn was here, wishes his mother was here, wondering if anyone has texted him but his phone is in his locker and there is not much to do other than just sit here with his own thoughts until he can find it in him to get up and leave.

“Is this seat taken?”

It’s Niall, and before Louis even can say anything Niall is sitting down next to him. He is still in his game kit, and Louis wants to tell him to go fuck himself again, wants to tell him that he doesn’t need his company but he can’t find it in him. He just turns to look at Niall and Niall looks back at him before he hesitates, and Louis grabs his jacket and tugs him in, and Niall follows his movement as easily as he was meant to until they are both on the ground.

They kiss, Louis feels Niall’s body pressing against his own and he wonders just how muddy his clothes are right now but he doesn’t really care, he can worry about that later.

“I’m sorry.” Niall whispers, and Louis wants to be a dick and ask if he is sorry about winning the game or about them, but he doesn’t have the energy in him to do that. He lets Niall apologize instead and they kiss again, kissing until it starts to rain and the mud is getting muddier, and Louis wonders if they can drown here now.

“Did you tell them about us?” Louis asks, and Niall doesn’t say anything, just kisses him again and Louis wonders what it is that makes him know Niall already, but he knows that silence means no and he probably should get up and leave but right now he can’t. Right now he just lets himself sink deeper into the mud.

“I really like you.” Niall whispers as they kiss again and again, and Louis wants to cry and maybe he does, he can’t really tell what is tears and what is rain right now. He just knows it’s not enough and it hits him like running into a brick wall so he ignores that too, and he isn’t sure for how long they are kissing.

But as he leaves the field, it’s with Niall’s arms around his waist.

And none of them says a word to each other.

 

**

Louis can’t stand packing. Or unpacking. Anything like that and he just doesn’t want to but he has to. He needs to get all his things into his bag and it seems as if it’s impossible. It takes him all morning focusing on just that until he is interrupted.

“Can I come in?” Niall’s knock on the door had been soft and Louis has just finished trying to sip his bag. Not much left to do now, ceremony over and he will be going back home tomorrow. Him and Niall hasn’t really been talking since they kissed, he isn’t sure who avoided who; they just didn’t talk. He isn’t angry anymore but as he looks at Niall and listens to his question, he shakes his head.

“No. Let’s go for a walk.”

He doesn’t know why he doesn’t want Niall in his hotel room, maybe afraid of what he will do, a walk seems safer and even though Niall does look a bit confused he doesn’t question it, he waits for Louis to get a jacket and then they walk downstairs to the lobby, before walking to the forest path where they walked before all of this happened.

“What did you want to talk about?” Louis asks, after they have been walking silent for far too long. Niall sighs.

“I know I’ve been a jerk. A complete jerk, and I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Yeah you have been.” Louis agrees. “I should probably punch you, to be honest.”

“I just didn’t expect this to happen here. Honestly I didn’t expect this to happen at all.” Niall tries to explain and Louis recognizes it, knows how it is and he hopes that everyone around Niall will be supportive, hope his friends will listen to him. “But I like you. That’s all. I really fucking like you and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t even know what… it is we have.”

“I like you too.” Louis says, sighing as he says the words out loud because again the feeling of it not being enough is there. He needs to be open about that. “It’s just not…”

“I don’t even know what I am. Who I am.” Niall continues, interrupting Louis and maybe it is because he doesn’t want Louis to say it won’t work out. Maybe Louis is a bit thankful that he did. “I have never been anything but… me. But since I met you, I just find more and more parts of me that I didn’t know existed. And I handled it… badly.”

“You need time.” Louis says, and it kills him to say every word of this but he knows he has to. Knows he needs to be the one saying the difficult things right now because he knows Niall won’t. “You need to find yourself, come to terms with who you are and I can’t help you with that. I wish I could, but I can’t. You need to do this by yourself and well…”

“I didn’t want this to happen to us.” Niall says, and he is not crying even though he looks close to tears. “I never meant to…”

“I know. I understand.” Louis says, and he looks at Niall and all he wants is to touch him again, kiss him like he did days ago but he can’t. “Maybe… Maybe when you have figured it out we can… do something. Get to know each other again. Because I want to know you… you know. Just…”

“I know.” Niall whispers, and it looks as if he understands what Louis is saying and Louis really hopes he does. He needs him to understand. “And you’re leaving, right?”

“Didn’t plan to stay in Ireland, no.” Louis says and he can’t help but smile and as he does, a soft giggle comes out of Niall’s mouth before he is serious again.

“Just… know that I told them, okay? I told the team that we… I told Liam about everything. They seem okay with it. I don’t plan to hide this, Louis. Just because you go back and I’m here I… don’t plan to hide this.”

“I believe you.” Louis says quietly and he does, he does believe Niall. “You take care of yourself, okay?”

Niall nods.

“You too.”

They look at each other. It’s awkward as it was the first time out eating dinner, or maybe even more so because Louis is even more confused and fighting on the inside on what to do right now than he was back then. It’s like they are breaking up before even starting anything and Louis isn’t sure why he wants to cry, isn’t sure if it’s okay to spill tears over something that never even happened.

Niall decides for him again, pulling him into a hug and Louis thankfully wraps his arms around him. They hug, no one saying anything but Louis can almost feel Niall’s heart beating.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” Louis whispers, repeating it as it feels more important now, trying so hard to hold it together now he won’t be surprised if his whole body breaks. “Be good.”

“You too.” Niall whispers back, and then as they pull away he adds. “Try not to fall so much, okay?”

He smiles and Louis smiles because it is a joke and he nods.

And as they walk away, Louis can’t help but think that not falling would have been a good advice for this tournament that maybe he should have followed.

In more ways than one.

 

**3 weeks later.**

 

Harry arrives early Sunday morning and both Louis and Zayn go to the train station to meet him. Even though Louis is used to the fact that Zayn and Harry are right now obviously a thing, even though they haven’t really put a label on it yet he still wasn’t ready for Zayn, who almost never even hold hands in public just sweeps Harry up in his arms as they meet and Harry jumping on him before they kiss messily and sloppily. Louis can’t help but smile though as he watches them and takes it on himself to take Harry’s bag.

“Done exchanging germs? Wanna go to the car?” He asks, and Harry turns to him, jumping down from Zayn’s arms to hug Louis tightly.

“Hey, missed you too.” He whispers in Louis’ ear and Louis smiles, hugging him back just as tight and he missed Harry as well, he didn’t think he would after just three weeks apart but he did.

“We’re going on a trip to the beach.” Zayn says happily as he takes Harry’s hand and Harry’s smile get even bigger.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

 

The water is cold but Harry and Zayn doesn’t seem to mind but Louis does, deciding to stay on solid ground while the other two jump into the water, playing and messing around. Louis checks his phone. He still does, even though Niall doesn’t really text him that much, but he follows him on twitter and Instagram, making sure to keep up with him from afar and it seems as if he is okay. Louis hopes he is okay.

As if he could hear his thoughts, Niall sends a text, it’s a text of a big plate of food and Niall himself, smiling brightly into the camera and the text says “ ** _Think I can eat all of this? x_** ”

Louis laughs softly and texts back a “ ** _I’ll be disappointed if you don’t x_** ” before he tucks his phone into his pocket, feeling as the world got a bit brighter suddenly.

He looks over at Harry and Zayn, they are laughing and now and then Harry splashes water on Zayn which makes him pout before he attacks back and Louis can’t help but smile as he watches them. The way they are adorable should probably be annoying but Louis can’t be annoyed right now. Maybe some other day. But not right now.

Because it will be okay, Louis decides. Soon everything will be okay, and whether or not it will be okay with or without Niall, well, that will be a question that he will let life answer later. Not right now.

Right now he is perfectly content watching two idiots splashing water at each other as if they are five years old, and burying his fingers and toes in the warm sand as he lets the sun embrace his face.

**Author's Note:**

> babygotstyles @ twitter and tumblr hmu


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